On today’s episode, I am breaking down one of the concepts I teach inside Show Up & Lead Mastermind. Quick to Compassion is a tool that is going to help you be kinder to yourself, rest more, and get a lot of stuff done. You will be able to take on work projects, take care of your clients better, create more deliverables, put on projects that you’ve been wanting to do, try different things, and you’ll be able to do all of these things while also regulating your nervous system.
Join me at my free webinar: Create Six-Figures from One Offer happening January 4th, at 2pm PST: How to Radically Simplify Your Business, Master the Art of Selling, and Rest More than you ever have in your life as a Woman of Color in Business.
Show Up & Lead Mastermind is opening for enrollment on January 4th. If you are a WOC coach or service provider who has already created $30k in revenue and wants to scale to six figures and multiple six figures, join the waitlist to get all the details about the upcoming round.
Show Up & Lead Mastermind is my high-level 6 month coaching and mentorship program created for WOC coaches & service pros who want to simplify their business model and operations, get fully booked with 1:1 clients, create their one-of-a-kind scalable offer, and learn how to calm launch your group program.
This program includes six-months of weekly group coaching, access to curriculum that is centered around helping you get fully booked with 1:1 clients, transition into group programs, create and launch your signature group program, and scale with calm launches. You get six months access to a community group chat with WOC leaders, and get your webinars, launch plans, and sales calls reviewed by me and my coaching team, and we kick off this program with a three day live, in-person training event February 21, 2024 in the iconic Las Vegas, Nevada, where we will bougie it up while creating your three year business plan.
Join the waitlist and DM me on instagram or email me any questions to catalina@catdelcarmen.com.
FOR MORE MASTERMIND INFO, GO TO https://catdelcarmen.com/mastermind
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Transcript:
EP. 233. Quick to Compassion
If you have made at least $30,000 in revenue in the last 12 months of your business and you are committed to scaling to six figures and beyond, I want to invite you to Show Up & Lead Mastermind. Show Up & Lead Mastermind is my high-level six-month coaching and mentorship program created for women of color coaches, creators, and service providers who are committed to growth.
Of getting to their first six figures or their first multiple six figures in revenue by simplifying their business models, selling from an authentic place and scaling either your one-on-one or group offers using mindset tools. That will keep you in self-compassion instead of self-sabotage. Think of this program like your very own millionaire group chat filled with authentic industry leaders who are committed to growing their businesses without sacrificing the good [00:01:00] things in life.
We are anti-burnout in this program. This program is about scaling calmly, simply to six figures, multiple six figures, all the way to a million show up and lead mastermind includes six months of weekly group coaching and access to curricula centered around helping you get fully booked with one-on-one clients, transition into group programs, create and launch your signature group program and scale with calm launches. You get six months of access to a community group chat with women of color leaders, and you get your webinars, launch plans, and content reviewed by me and my coaching team. We kick off this program with a three-day live in-person event happening February 21st – 23rd in iconic Las Vegas, Nevada, where we will bougie it [00:02:00] up while creating your three-year business plan.
This mastermind is a $10,000 investment, either paid in full or for payments of $2,500 doors open January 4th. And if you apply and join by January 7th, you’ll receive a four-hour VIP day with me to plan out your entire six-figure year. Applications open Tuesday, January 4th to the waitlist and the public. Get on the waitlist for Show Up & Lead Mastermind here.
Make sure you are on the waitlist. If you have any questions at all, feel free to email me at catalina@catdelcarmen.com or send me a DM on Instagram @CatDelCarmen. All right, y’all, I cannot wait to coach you.
My name is Catalina Del Carmen and I’m on a mission to put more cash in the hands of women of color. I’m a wife, mom, amiga, prima, and I happen to run a multiple six-figure coaching business. On this show, I share sales and marketing strategies that keep your business simple, Your bank account big and your impact even bigger.
So if you are on a mission to create generational change and you want to make a lot of money doing it, welcome to the Latinas Booked Out Podcast.
Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to Latina’s Booked Out Podcast. I hope you are doing well. I am so excited about today’s episode. I am breaking down one of the concepts I teach inside Show Up and Lead Mastermind. And it is a process that has helped me grow my business, expand my capacity, get work done, get work done in my business, especially when I task myself to really, really, really big, big goals.
So today I’m talking about quick to compassion, quick to compassion. This is a tool we use inside of show up and lead mastermind that is going to help you. Be kinder to yourself, rest more and quickly, while at the same time, hustle and get a lot of stuff done. It is a very, very [00:05:00] gentle, or I should say delicate, it is a very delicate, delicate road to being quick to compassion.
But once you. Get used to it. Once you start doing it on a regular basis, you will be able to implement more in your business. You will be able to take on work projects, take care of your clients better, create more deliverables, put on, you know, projects that you’ve been wanting to do, try different things.
And you’ll be able to do all of these things while also regulating your nervous system. So you don’t self sabotage. Right, so we don’t either self sabotage or we just don’t do what we want to do, right? Like sometimes we have these goals that we, you know, we have these goals and we want to implement them.
And the reality is we are sometimes so scared of the actual thing. And then what happens is we. Once we get scared, once we get [00:06:00] nervous, once the emotions get too big, that’s when we go back to what is comfortable. We go back on our decisions. We don’t actually implement what we wanted to implement or do what we want to do.
And instead, what do we do? We go back to the same old shit that doesn’t give us results. And that’s not how we are going to get to million dollars in revenue. That’s not how we’re going to get to thousands of clients impacted, right? It’s not how we’re going to do that. We got to get things done. And if a part of that is learning how to be gentle with ourselves so that we can take action and do the things we want to do, then we need to become good at that.
We need to become good at that. So we’ll get into it on today’s episode. I want to remind you that if you have not signed up for my free webinar happening, happening January 4th, it’s called How to Create Six Figures From One Offer. I’m going to be Basically teaching you how to simplify your business so that you can get focused on selling the hell out of your offer and get to six figures from one offer, from a single offer.
This is really important. I’m really passionate about this because I really feel like when you Learn how to make six figures from one single revenue stream of your business, right? That is when know how to sell and from there, learning how to do multiple six figures, learning how to do, do it again, again.
And again, quicker, with less drama, while life is going on, then you have cracked the code. It’s just like one foot in front of the other. How do I make more? [00:08:00] How do I impact more? How do I take care of my clients and how do I, it’s like stepping stones, but I do believe in having the skill of selling six figures in one single offer is so powerful for your business. So if you want to learn all that, make sure to sign up for my webinar. It’s happening January 4th. All right. Let’s talk about compassion. All right. So I want to tell you a story.
I’ve told this story right after my live event. I had an August for my mastermind. I had an in-person live event in August. I threw a live in-person event for my mastermind. This is typically how we kick off the mastermind. And It starts the six months of coaching [00:09:00] after that.
Okay. So when I put this on together, I made a decision in that phase in my business. It was like a little bit of Q2 and going into Q3. I made a decision that I would do a couple of things. One, I would launch Show Up and Lead Mastermind. That was already on my list. We would do this live event, which was planned for just a month.
I think it was like a month after that, a month and a half after that. And then one month after the live event, so I think the live event was like August 21st. One month after that, September, by the end of September, I would launch my new program. This was so much work and I was very nervous that I wasn’t going to be able to do it.
There were so many moving parts. I, I wasn’t, I wasn’t sure I was the right leader to implement this. Like I wasn’t sure I had [00:10:00] the delegation skills, the leadership skills, the, um, I didn’t, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to actually produce meaning like there was a lot of curriculum updates I was going to make.
I made a whole fully booked course inside show up and lead mastermind at this time as well. And I also created curriculum for my new program. I had to market my new program. There was just so much, like I, it was really a big task to put on these three back to back events for myself at that time. Now I don’t feel like it’s that hard because I did it.
But looking back, it was, it was scary for me at that time. And looking back at that time, I did Such an effing great job at really navigating all of my emotions, all of the fullness of life, my kids, stuff happening, transitioning from nanny [00:11:00] to daycare. I mean, there’s so many other things happening in my life outside of these things that all together.
Honestly, it was a recipe for like huge anxiety, anxiety attacks. It was a recipe for complete burnout. Like looking at it before it was done, it was like, okay, I’m scared to burn out. I don’t want to burn out. Like, that’s definitely not what I want to do here. So One thing I started implementing before the live event of Show Up and Lead Mastermind was this concept of quick to compassion.
If I’m going to task myself to really execute on the things I have planned for my business and do them well and do them intentionally and really trust myself, if I’m going to do this, then I Have to, have to learn how to be compassionate with myself and regulate my nervous system [00:12:00] quicker, faster, without debate.
I have to be great at that cycle. In my head, I see it like the cycle. It’s like, if I feel something, if I’m triggered by something, And it affects me. I have to handle it then and there instead of what is normal is we push it aside. So let me give you an example. Some people might be prepping for a launch and then they see, let’s say another coach, maybe a, you know, like someone who’s similar to them has a similar niche and they see that that person is also launching something, maybe even launching something similar.
And. Let’s say they post something that sounds like your content, right? And you’re like, Oh my God, did they copy me? Or like, Oh my God, did they, whatever. I don’t know. That might be a trigger for you. And if you don’t handle that trigger, if you just push it aside and you’re like, Oh, okay, I’m just going to keep working.
[00:13:00] What can happen is that you Slow down that maybe you hide from your lunch. Maybe you create less content because the emotion of it is still there, right? Like if you’re feeling inadequate, if you’re feeling insecure, if you’re feeling unsure, and you’re trying to execute from that energy, which you’re trying Sometimes you’ll have to create something in that energy, and we’ll talk about that in a minute, but in reality, it’s so important that you don’t push those emotions to the side immediately, and you actually learn how to understand the triggers you feel.
Okay, so maybe you see a piece of content, you read it, you’re triggered, and then the first thought that comes to your mind is they’re better than me. No, why would anyone work with me? This is so much better than my shit. Right? Let’s just pretend that’s what your brain says. [00:14:00] So when your brain says that.
And then you might tell your brain, no, you’re fine. You’re fine. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. People want to work with you. You’re okay. Let’s keep moving. So you keep moving and then you go to, let’s say your laptop, and then you’re about to write some emails for your launch. And now you’re like, I don’t have anything to say.
And your brain is like, okay, I’ll talk about this. And then you write two sentences and then you call it, you, you reread it. And you’re like, this is shit. This is not helpful. And then you’re in circles, not being able to produce, or you’re producing and it doesn’t sound like you. It’s not what you really think.
It’s not really your voice. You’re kind of thinking of what would sound really compelling instead of what would What would really help my ideal client, like see what I’m trying to show them, right? Becomes this rhythm [00:15:00] in this kind of journey to like insecurity when you don’t handle the actual thing to begin with.
So I’ll give you another example. When my live event, my live event was happening, I believe it was August 21st, 22nd, 23rd. I think it was a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Uh, it was announced, I think that Thursday, the Thursday before we started, that Los Angeles would get the biggest storm in its history since like, I don’t know, like so many years ago.
And it was coming Sunday night when all my clients were flying in. My nervous system went crazy. I actually handle it really well, but it’s because I was practicing quick to compassion so much. So this was happening. I also had so much curriculum that I needed to make, not only for the live event, [00:16:00] but I needed to make it for the actual program.
And I remember just feeling really overwhelmed. And also my husband works, um, some weekends because he works in the sports industry and he had to work and I had to have the kids certain days. And I remember just feeling like, Like it was not possible, like there was no way I was going to be able to get everything I wanted to get done in such a small amount of time and deliver like a great event for my clients, which was really important to me.
And there were so many, so this, this storm really took a toll on like my, I’m like, why is this happening? And at the, at the same time, I was also working with someone on a sales page for my new program that was going to be out in like a month and a half. And I remember they gave me the results of it and it was such [00:17:00] trash.
I just felt like I was against the wall with the amount of work I had to do. And I felt like I didn’t have support even though I have support. Like I did have support at that time. So at that time I decided, um, I also was deciding to switch up my team. I was letting go of someone on my team who I love so deeply and who has been such a big part of like helping me build my business.
I was also deciding to like, uh, what is it called? I’m looking for the word. Um, just like simplify my team and we, her and I had already had this conversation, but like the anxiety of it all was just felt like so much. And. It all turned out well. Everything went okay. Everything went really great actually.
But one of the questions that my clients asked me during the live event was, [00:18:00] I can’t. Like regulate myself, my nervous system, like you Cat, like I’m, I don’t know how to be nice to myself in the moments of overwhelm. Know how I can execute XYZ and also not have all the mind drama. And what I came up with was quick to compassion.
She asked me about this the first day of the event and that night, that night I went to my Airbnb and I wrote out how I get over my mindset and really get into action quicker. And the answer is. I’m, I have self compassion. I’ve become an expert at self compassion. The only [00:19:00] reason I’ve been able to execute so much and in such little time with two kids, with a life, like all the things is because I’m so good at giving myself compassion.
I try not to debate whether I deserve rest. I don’t debate whether I deserve a night out. I don’t debate whether, you know, like. I just don’t debate these things with myself. If I need love, if I need self compassion, I give it to myself and I give it to myself immediately. And the, the, what happens when you do that is you are more effective.
You are more efficient. Your brain is more alert. It can think at a higher level because you are safe with yourself because you know how to create safety. It [00:20:00] works because you are the person who is in charge of tending to yourself, and it really does take practice for you to tend to yourself like this, for you to show yourself self compassion, but when you do know how to do this, you’re the person.
You become more effective in your work because there is no debate that you are always more important than your business, that you are always more important than making sure your kids have all the right stuff. You are always more important than making your, making sure your husband’s happy or your parents are happy.
You. Go first. It’s about you having your own back. And when you could create that safety for yourself, nobody can take that away from you. And you can do anything. You can do anything. So let’s talk [00:21:00] about what quick to compassion actually looks like. Okay. All right. I’m going to go through this list. It’s about six steps.
Okay. So quick to compassion, and I want you to think it the when you would use this is if you are in any, any moment of frustration, um, anxiety or anything relating to your business, maybe you’re like not taking action on something or you’re super in your head or whatever the case is. I think this works best when you have a very beefy goal.
Because when you have a beefy goal or you’re worried about burning out, that’s when you can take action on this better and quicker because you’re forced to kind of forced to. So that’s what I think. So I would choose a really big goal you have and maybe cut the time of it. Like maybe I can make this [00:22:00] happen in six months instead of three.
I mean, three months instead of six, right? Maybe I can make this. Happen in a month and maybe this is a one month, a 30 day project instead of a three month quarter project. Right? I don’t know. You have to choose, but here’s the process. So the quick to compassion process goes like this. First, you notice the trigger.
You notice a trigger if you are triggered by something and you notice it, the first thing I want you to do, especially if it’s like a high emotion trigger. So if something really triggers you, I want you to name the emotion. So that’s number two. Number one is you notice the trigger. Number two is you name the emotion, you name it.
And I don’t mean naming it with a sentence. I mean, you name it with one single word. I am sad. I am feeling [00:23:00] sad. I am feeling annoyed. I am feeling angry. I am feeling disappointed. I am feeling anxious. Name the emotion. This is very important. Because your brain is going to want to go to a zillion sentences.
I don’t know how to do this. I’m never going to figure this out. And this is never going to work. I’ve already tried this again. I’m failed so many times. This is not going to work. I should just quit. Like that’s when you actually try to name the emotion that you’re feeling, your brain is going to go on that whole title.
But you have to bring it back and say, what do I feel? What is the name of the emotion I am feeling? And I want you to name it. Number three is I want you then to normalize the emotion, normalize the emotion. And what that looks like is, all right, [00:24:00] the trigger is my Sent an email to my entire email list about a webinar I’m having and she put the wrong date.
Now that’s the trigger, right? The emotion is, I don’t know, uh, chaotic or out of control or like, um, you don’t feel like you’re in control. Right? So an emotion would be, I’m trying to think of an emotion. An emotion would be. Maybe anxious, right? So then you want to normalize the emotion. And what I mean by that is asking yourself, is it normal to feel anxious or inadequate?
Let’s say when you’re running a business and your team member sends an email to 800 people, 2000 people [00:25:00] without the, or with the wrong information, is it normal for you to feel anxious? Yes. Yes. Of course, it’s normal for you to feel anxious. Of course, this emotion is normal. Yes, it is normal. Most people would feel this way in this situation.
And just by normalizing it, I, step four, once you’ve normalized it, I want you to direct yourself. to compassion. Direct yourself to regulating. That is where you make a decision to direct yourself to take an action. So you notice the trigger, you name the emotion, you normalize the [00:26:00] emotion. You could also normalize the thoughts.
Like if you have thoughts, you could be like, yeah, it’s normal to think this way if I feel this way. And the number four is we’ve normalized it. Now it’s time to direct ourselves to compassion.
And number five is you choose your regulating tool. Now, sometimes you’re not going to need to like really take the time to regulate your emotions. Sometimes it could be a small trigger and you can just handle it then and there. So you can ask yourself, like, do I need to regulate this? Do I need to process this emotion?
Like, what is it? And sometimes the answer is going to be like, nope, I could shake this one off. But sometimes it’s going to be like, yeah, I need to process this. So when I say choose a regulating tool, what I mean, what you can also say is choose a processing tool. How am I going to process the emotion and how much time do I want to give myself to do that?
Especially if we have [00:27:00] projects and things to be done, right? And I want you to be generous with the time. And once you take action on regulating yourself, now, when I say regulating, that might be getting up and dancing, putting on some music and getting a good mood. That might be taking a walk. That might be taking a nap.
That might be, um, That might be fucking having a little smoky, smoky, a little drink. Now, I want to be clear about the drinking and the smoking. That like, those aren’t regulating tools. Those are like numbing tools, right? But sometimes we got to do what we got to do. And I’m just not a person to like hate on that.
As long as you’re very conscious of it, right? Like you’re very aware of it. But for me, what I’ve noticed is like just playing with my kids was sometimes my nervous system regulating. Like I need it, like I regulate it through [00:28:00] just playing with my kids, which sounds a little silly because playing with our kids can be, feel like work.
But Um, when I was very close, when I was getting a lot done at once, I was doing a lot of like hopping into family life and work life. And I just allowed myself to hop into each of those pretty seamlessly. So for me, sometimes it looks like that. Sometimes it looks like doing an errands that I have been wanting to do or doing laundry that I wanted to do, right?
Like, It can look different, but you got to choose your regulating tool. Choose the way you’re going to process those emotions. And then the last piece here is take the action. Then you take the action and you’re patient with yourself and you give yourself grace. And when you can get very good at this.
When you can get [00:29:00] very good at this cycle, when you know how to give yourself compassion any fucking time, you don’t have to take these huge social media breaks. You don’t have to, like, give up on your business for a whole fucking month. Because you become so good at having your own back, you become so good at allowing yourself to be a learner and a beginner again, and allowing yourself to just learn and not see things as mistakes or going slow or whatever, and instead, you’re just like, no, I am learning.
I’m going to do better next time. I’m going to, I’m going into the new year with so much more information. When you have this attitude and you have this tool and you practice it. You can task yourself with big things. You can make big [00:30:00] goals.
You, you, you don’t have to be afraid of burnout because you always know how to take care of yourself when you are close to it. I want you to use this tool when you are strategizing for the new year, when you are Um, making a decision, business decisions about what your quarter is going to look like, what your year is going to look like.
I want you to use this tool when you’re feeling, when you are feeling a big emotion, I want you to use this tool. I want you to notice the trigger. Where was the trigger? Why am I feeling this way? There’s something happened that made me feel this way. Oh, my husband said this to me. Oh, the teacher at my kid’s school said this, and that triggered me.
They said, I got to be there on Friday for la, la, la. And I have a call that day and la, la, la. Like I want you to notice these [00:31:00] things. And then I want you to name the emotion. I want you to normalize the emotion, direct yourself to compassion, choose a regulating tool or a processing tool, and take action on.
The compassion. And here’s what I don’t want you to do. I don’t want you to debate if you deserve the regulating. I don’t want you to debate if processing the emotion isn’t the smart thing to do because I have a lot of work right now. No, if you have a lot of fucking work, you need to be such an expert. A quick to compassion.
Because let me tell you, the more I was compassionate with myself, the more output I had in my business, the more my brain worked when I needed it to, the more ideas came to my mind when I was writing. I was better, smarter, quicker, faster when I was kind to myself, when I learned how to regulate my nervous system, when I was quick to give myself compassion.
So the next [00:32:00] projects you have going on in the next year, As you go into the next year, I want you to practice giving yourself compassion. Be quick to give yourself compassion. And I promise you, when you practice this and you do it on repeat, you will get more done. In a shorter timeframe. All right, y’all, this is the work we do inside the mastermind show up and lead mastermind.
We talk about this because these are the things that slow our growth. So I want to invite you to show up and lead mastermind and really challenge yourself to do things differently in your business. One of my clients, Soledad, just had an incredible launch. She. Hit 50 K plus in her launch. But the, but the real win here was that one, she hit, she did more in business than her last three launches and her last launches.
She [00:33:00] really, she, she, she didn’t have this tool and she didn’t practice being kind to herself. So what happened is she just completely gave up mid launch and she would just like change the Change the plan of her business. And this last time we really, really, really focused, she really focused on being quick to give herself compassion, really focusing on her mindset during her launch.
And obviously we filled it with strategy that would help her be able to market. But what happened was she had a very calm launch. And she had her biggest launch. So this works. I’ve seen it work with many of my clients. So I invite you to use this tool. And if you want to grow your business to six figures and multiple six figures in 2024, I invite you to show up and lead mastermind.
This [00:34:00] mastermind is for coaches, creators, consultants who have already made 30 K in their business and want to scale to six figures and beyond. I invite you to join, get on the wait list below doors open January 4th. I hope this was helpful, y’all. I will see you later. Bye.
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