In this episode, I’m talking about entitlement, how it slows down business, and what you can do about it.
I want to equip you with the tools you need to be more resilient in your business. Hear 6 things you can do to go from frustrated to focused, so you can move your business forward.
Register for my Webinar: 3 Steps to Scaling Any Offer at Any Price, Ethically, Authentically, & Using Your Intellectual Property. Register here.
What is up, y’all? Applications for Show Up and Lead Mastermind are opening on September 24th. I designed this mastermind for women of color in business to scale their coaching offers online to $100K, multiple six figures, and beyond. Our approach to scaling your business is focused on three core areas:
One, your signature coaching process. Two, advanced selling. And three, an unbothered mindset. Let me explain. You’ll be able to develop a signature coaching process and learn how to market with it so that your work doesn’t blend in with other programs. It is so important that when you are scaling, you create a body of work that is yours and truly your intellectual property.
Number two, selling. Scaling your programs means more content in less time. It’s about creating a sales process that makes it easy for your clients to understand what it’s like to work with you inside your programs and buy into it easily.
Three, an unbothered mindset. The number one issue I find for women of color struggling to scale their business is a deep attachment to perfectionism and people-pleasing. To be completely honest, when you are scaling your business, you have to practice detaching yourself from your business to be able to grow it. So, inside Show Up and Lead Mastermind, we teach you how to detach yourself from your business, clients, and online haters. Because if you’re going to build a legacy of a business, you have to create strong boundaries and an unbothered mindset.
Here’s what you get inside of Show Up and Lead Mastermind. This program is 12 months of weekly coaching. You get one-on-one coaching and planning calls quarterly, so you always know what your priority projects are for the quarter. You also get community inside of Slack to collaborate with top-tier women of color, coaches, and business owners. You get video feedback and reviews on your launch plans, curriculum, and marketing materials. We will give you the feedback you need.
You’ll also get the curriculum inside of the portal, which is filled with strategies to help you get fully booked in one-on-one coaching, launch your group offers, innovate your income stream, and mindset exercises to keep your business moving, which is most important. You also get a private podcast. We have virtual events and challenges, and we are kicking off this new round of Show Up and Lead Mastermind with a live virtual event in October.
The investment for this program is $10,000, and there are payment plans available. This program is designed for coaches and service providers who have a record of consistent sales and want to grow their revenue to multiple six figures all the way to seven figures without burning out and being obsessed with work. If this is you and you know this program could help you get to the next level, I want to invite you to join.
My name is Catalina Del Carmen, and I am a wife, mother of two, daughter of immigrants, and a rule-breaking business coach for women of color coaches, creatives, and service professionals. I spent years trying to figure out the online business game—creating fashion blogs, YouTube channels, Instagram pages, email lists—all of the things, with little or nothing to show for it. Now, I run a growing multiple six-figure coaching business, keeping things radically simple so I can spend more time with my babies than my business.
Inside my programs, Show Up Real and Show Up and Lead Mastermind, I teach my clients how to build an online community using authentic, revenue-generating content that doesn’t require them to be everywhere. Whether it’s your first four figures in business or six figures in my mastermind, less is more when you are committed to growing your impact and revenue at the same time.
In this show, I tell the whole mother effing truth about what it takes to build and scale an online business. I don’t gatekeep. I don’t tell you half the truth. I keep it real, and I will challenge you to do it as well. Welcome to the Show Up Real Podcast.
What is up, y’all? Before we start today’s episode, there is an event that I am putting on just for you, and I want to make sure that I invite you. I am putting on a three-class, free webinar that I am calling “Three Steps to Scaling Any Offer at Any Price Ethically, Authentically Using Your Intellectual Property.”
This event is going to happen on Monday, September 23rd, at 1 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. Here’s what you’re going to learn in this webinar. Number one, you’re going to learn how to sell out your one-on-one coaching offer with high-integrity messaging that articulates the transformation you sell without promising the world to people. I want to help you learn how to get fully booked in your one-on-one coaching business. That’s how I started my business, and it really transformed the way I do business.
Number two, you’re going to learn how I instantly turn on my creativity and shift my content to be more authentic to my brand, regardless of whether I’m selling a four-figure group program or five-figure masterminds. One of the most sustainable ways to create content in your business that feels right to you is leaning into your authentic vision and really leaning into your authenticity within the brands you have created. So, I’m going to teach you how to turn that on very quickly for yourself.
And then lastly, I’m going to teach you how to use your own unique coaching process and thought leadership to scale your client results and transition from one-on-one to group coaching. What really makes your marketing more effective, ethical, and authentic is learning how to market with your unique coaching process. And that’s what I’m going to teach you in this webinar.
Previously, I had talked about an event that I was planning called Simple Scaling. I decided not to do the event. I decided to put all that information into one webinar. And that is this webinar. I want to teach you all of the components that I was planning to teach inside this webinar. So, it’s happening Monday, September 23rd, 2024, at 1 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. It’s going to be about 90 minutes. That’s what I’m planning for it to be. So, it’ll be a longer webinar, but I really want to talk about marketing. I want to talk about mindset, and I want to talk about what it looks like to get fully booked in one-on-one coaching, transition into group programs, and really learn how to do that seamlessly and do it in a way that feels right to you.
So, if that sounds appealing to you, I want to invite you to join us. You can join by using the link below in the show notes, or you can go to the link in my bio on Instagram at @CatDelCarmen and sign up there. If you want more information about the webinar itself, I’ll also add the link below. And if you have any questions, reach out to me. I am so excited about putting this webinar on. And by the way, this webinar is sponsored by Show Up and Lead Mastermind. So, I will be inviting you to join toward the end of the webinar.
But what I wanted to share with you is that I am making so many changes to this program to really make it something I wish I had when I was scaling after I made my first six figures. I’ve really thought about, like, okay, what program can I create that I needed after I hit my first $100K? And I created this program for that. So, you’ll learn more about it at the webinar. And if you have no interest in joining Show Up and Lead Mastermind, you’re also welcome to come to the webinar as well.
Alright, y’all, let’s get into the episode. I will see you later.
What is up, y’all? Welcome back to the Show Up Real Podcast. My name is Catalina Del Carmen, or Kat Del Carmen, and I’m so excited to be talking about entitlement today. I have been wanting to do an episode like this one for a very, very long time. I don’t know why I haven’t prioritized it, but I’m finally getting to it, and I’m really excited to talk about this topic because I feel like it’s going to help so many people regardless of where you are on your entrepreneurship journey. And yeah, I just have a lot to say about this. So, let’s get into it. Let’s just get right into it, okay?
So, here is the deal. Entitlement is something that you will likely feel in your business, either from time to time or often until you get over your entitlement. Until you process that. So, here’s the deal. I’ve helped so many people grow their coaching businesses. I’ve worked with so many clients who have—it’s not always their business. It could really be anything, but really like trying something, right? Trying something, putting effort into something, and feeling like you deserve some type of reward after because you did XYZ, whatever that is.
Now, that’s my definition, but I did pull up the definitions from the dictionary. So, let me just read them to you so we can level set this conversation. So, what is entitlement? The state or condition of being entitled; a right to benefit specified, especially by law or contract. That’s another definition. And here’s one more: belief that one is deserving or entitled to certain privileges.
So, that’s from the dictionary. I think the last one hits home the most. But here’s the thing: what I’ve found is that when I have a coaching session with a client, whether it’s one-on-one or in a group or whatever, and I’m feeling the entitlement, it’s usually very clear. Because usually when clients are feeling very entitled, it comes up in a more—I don’t know—like, not angry, maybe angry, maybe a little bit of anger. It could be anger, distress, annoyance, or irritation—something in that realm. Now, it could be different for everyone, so that’s not the only way you feel, but that’s what I find.
I think feeling entitled in your business makes so much sense when you grew up in a society that was very predictable. Here is why. Here’s why a lot of people feel entitlement when it comes to their business or when it comes to not seeing success in growing your following, not seeing success in a launch that you put on, or not seeing the amount of money from any kind of new thing you put on, right, in your business or wherever. But really, when it comes to your business, here’s why a lot of people struggle with this. I kind of thought of two different types of people, so I’ll go through both of them.
First, I want to just be clear: if you grew up in the United States of America or a lot of places in the world, there is a plan of success for you. At least here, there definitely was, right? Most of us, if you were lucky, grew up in a society or community where the plan for success was made for you. Meaning, if you got lucky, you knew what you needed to do to create the life that you had, right? Or if you wanted to create a better life, you also had a clearer vision, right? You grew up in a society that told you, “You have to go to school and get good grades.” Like, if someone told you, “You have to go to school and get good grades,” that’s already a privilege, right?
So, you have to go to school to get good grades. Then, you graduate, right? You make it all the way to high school, and then you graduate. And then you go to college. And then if you get into a good school or if you have a good degree, when you graduate, you can get a really good job or a so-so job. You can get all these benefits, and if you work really, really hard at that job, you’ll likely make even more money and maybe have more freedom—maybe not. But we kind of knew what we were supposed to do. We knew the game of success.
Now, some people didn’t, right? I didn’t. The only reason I probably went to college was that I was a part of a program called Upward Bound, and they basically walked us through that entire experience. My mom wanted me to go to college, but she also wasn’t college-educated, so she didn’t know all the applications and the essays and how many schools you should apply to and all these things. But if you knew that, right? If you were able to figure that out, even if it was for yourself, you still had a step-by-step plan on how to be successful at life.
That is just the first thing I wanted to mention in terms of why there’s so much entitlement when it comes to your business or if you feel that entitlement. This is why: you grew up in a society that had a whole path of what it looks like to be successful for you. And especially if you are a very high-achieving person, right? I have a lot of clients who are super smart. I have a client right now who’s a pediatrician, another one who is a financial planner, another one—I’ve had many, many clients who were professors and just incredibly smart, hard-working people who worked really hard to get where they are.
But I find specifically with this type of person, they have a big, big problem when they don’t see the success quickly because they have this expectation. They have this belief, I should say. They have this belief about themselves that they’re really, really good at achieving things. And they could pretty much achieve anything they set their mind to because that is how it works in the traditional education system and lining you up to work in whatever field.
But I find that people who are very high-achieving have a lot of expectations. Or I should say, if you had a lot of expectations on you and you feel like you could pretty much achieve anything, this is why you might even be more entitled, but really more irritated by not seeing the growth you want to see when you put the effort into your business.
And then there’s also this other person. I’m kind of similar to this person that I find who has more natural marketing and sales skills. They could also be very smart. But what I find about these people is they’re people who have natural social skills, who are just kind of naturals at selling and marketing. I wouldn’t say they make more money. I would say that they are just naturally better at it. They don’t have to work as hard to be good at it, right?
So, for these folks, they are naturally confident in these situations where they’re uncomfortable, and they also have this very humble side to them because they maybe felt a little bit inadequate growing up in their own ways, right? I find these people actually do thrive in entrepreneurship to a point. Both people do, let’s just be clear. Both people do. But I find that the second group can navigate the ups and downs of entrepreneurship a little bit more because they just felt more inadequate. Although they knew the process, maybe they had a disability or a circumstance at home or whatever the case is, right?
Regardless, one thing I find—and I will also say this person tends to get very, very frustrated when something has worked before and now it’s not working. Because they feel like they’ve cracked a code to a certain level, but that’s not really the way it is. And the reality is, for this specific person, they have very deep-rooted beliefs, and it typically is going to take a lot of self-awareness and mindset work to overcome that next kind of battle in your business.
But this is still a form of entitlement when you’re like, “I remember when I was like, no, no, no. I’m really good at mindset. I don’t really need mindset work. I’m such a big dreamer. It comes so naturally to me.” I remember believing and thinking that way. But the honest truth is that if you are building a business and you want to get to that next level, wherever you’re at, you’re going to struggle. You’re going to struggle. That’s the name of the game. People don’t say it enough, but it’s just the truth. And the reason you’re going to have a challenge is that you’re literally doing things you’ve never done before on a very regular basis.
Now, for folks who have already had some success in their business, maybe you’ve normalized $50K a year. Maybe $50K a year is what you’ve normalized. Maybe you have a nine-to-five, maybe you don’t, regardless. But you can count on making at least this much a year. Now, $50,000 of sales is a good chunk of money. But if you want to grow to multiple six figures, if you want to double that and hit six figures or triple that and hit $150K, you’re going to have to try different things. And there’s a 100 percent chance you’re probably going to fail in some way, shape, or form.
I wanted to make today’s episode because I really want to equip you with the tools you need to be more resilient in your business. Stop playing this game of “I’m going to quit my business,” and instead always be willing to look at your business as this thing that you can control. But you also have to give yourself grace for not doing this before and learning how to do this.
There isn’t a perfect strategy for success in business. There isn’t one perfect strategy. I would say there are many, many great strategies for having business success. But if you’re doing it for the first time, it’s still going to be a challenge. You still have to build that muscle. You still have to get good at this. The reason that business—I shouldn’t say business—making, I really believe that making your first $100K could be very, very simple if you just stuck with the very basic fundamentals of selling and marketing. I really do believe that. Maybe $70K, $50K.
But I think when you start to scale, there are so many moving pieces. There are so many moving pieces, and there’s so much to consider. And for one person to be trying to build that, it could be so hard in our own ways. So, there are strategies that can work, but it really depends on you. It depends on your circumstance. It depends on what you want, etc., etc.
But today, I want to talk about—I’m going to give you an example of what building a business is like. I want you to see how the process of building a business and getting things wrong and getting things right and learning your lesson and all the back and forth—I want you to see how normal it is and how okay it is and how you do have control. You do have control of a lot in your business. I want to make that argument.
Then I want to give you a solution to take action on when you are feeling very frustrated in your business when you are feeling frustrated, anxious, or whatever it is. So, let’s get started. I want to give you an example of starting a business, and I want to use building a house as an example. So, if we were to look at our business like we’re building a house, there are general contractors and then there are people who decide they want to build a house, right? The general contractor is likely going to do it much quicker. They have a lot of experience. They can just build a house pretty damn quickly, probably.
But then if you are a person who just decided that you want to build a house, it’s going to look different for you. It’s probably going to be a lot slower. Sure, there is a right way of building a house, but there are also a lot of components—almost too many to monitor all of them at once unless you have great experience. If you’re a general contractor, right? Or even a carpenter. But there’s the folks with experience and then there’s the folks that don’t have experience.
I think when you came from a nine-to-five, or when you came from some type of structure that you grew up as what we called successful, hopping into business is not like that. It’s just not. Unless you were maybe a CEO of a company, then you would still have a lot to learn. But the reality is, if you are a founder, which many of my clients are because we founded our businesses, and sure, it’s a coaching business, but it’s our coaching business. We’re literally creating it from scratch. So, if that’s what you’re doing, you need to give yourself grace like you’re building a house for the first time.
Now, I’ve renovated a house. This is why I chose this example because I feel like I have a little bit of background on what it could look like. But I want to quickly just run through all the things that can happen—all the decisions and all the moving parts when you’re actually building a house. I don’t do it all the way to it being a whole house. I just stop at the foundation.
So, let’s talk about it. First, you’ve got to get the land, right? You’ve got to get the land, or you have to have a house that you want to renovate. That’s step one, and that’s already a process. You have to look for the land. You have to get your finances in order. You’ve got to get pre-approved. You’ve got to start thinking about what you want to build. So, first, you need the land or a house that you’re going to renovate.
Then, you need a plan. You likely need to work with an architect to figure out what your house is going to look like. You’re going to have to work with a professional to help you figure out what you want your house to look like. Once you work with that professional, once you work with the architect, it’s likely you’re going to have to work with more people, including the city, to get all the permits you might need. Some of that might take time.
Then, once your permits—(and it doesn’t exactly work like this)—but once that happens, you can hire some help. Hire some professionals. Maybe they don’t even need to be professionals. But then you start looking for some help. You want to start measuring. You want to start purchasing things that you’re going to need. You want to start planning the type of tools and equipment that you’re going to need to get started. And then, when you actually have everything in order and you’ve made all the phone calls and you’re really getting prepped to go, the reality is that step one is still the foundation. Step one is the foundation.
So, before anything happens, you’ve got to dig. You’ve got to dig, dig, dig, dig, dig. You’ve got to go down into the roots to make sure that you build a very solid foundation for your home or for the house or whatever this place is. And then once you start digging, there are a lot of things you might find. Let me tell you. When Paul and I did a renovation in our home in Oakland, and we actually got our foundation done, once they start digging, they could really find problems.
So, for example, it could be that maybe the area you bought, the land that you bought, maybe it doesn’t have a water line from the street going into the house. So, now you’ve got to call a plumber. Now you’ve got to tell everyone to hold on or work on other things. And then they have to come in, fix that, and then you can keep it moving again. And then a lot of other things can happen, right? And then it’s just the foundation. When you’re done with the foundation, then there’s the building of the house. Then there’s the framing.
I share this with you because I want you to see how new you are at building a house. If you have made your first $100K in a coaching business or service-based business that sells online, you’re just getting started. It’s like you are—it’s just like maybe the foundation. So, I really want you to start giving yourself the real scenario of what you are building. And if you want to build something big, if you want to impact a lot of people and you want to have a lot of clients and fill your programs with hundreds of people—if that’s the big dream—I really want you to learn to give yourself grace.
Really look at what you’re building. You’ve never done this before. You’ve never done this before. And even if you’ve done it, if you’ve had some success, which I’m sure you can or you have, you still are building, and there’s still things that you’re going to have to learn, and some things aren’t just going to be a quick fix.
I remember when my husband and I were renovating our home in Oakland. One project that he thought was going to be easy was putting in French doors. There was a sliding glass door. He’s a handy guy now, but he was not when I married him. He looked up everything on YouTube. I remember he ordered the doors and did everything he was supposed to. And then when it came down to it, he worked on it one full day, and by the end of the day, he had the French doors in and they were not closing. They were not, not closing—they were drastically off. There was something very wrong. And there was so much that was already in place, and he was so frustrated. I remember my dad—my dad has passed now, but at the time, he came to help him. Even my dad—he was self-employed and a general contractor, but I don’t think he was licensed. He just knew a lot. He was a carpenter and worked a lot with wood, but he knew how to do everything in my eyes.
I remember he came over and he tried. He helped him fix it, but it took them a long time. They had to take the door out and put these little slivers of wood to make it really tight. I just want you to give yourself grace to realize that you are building something from scratch.
If you are serious about this being your business, you’re going to have to get very, very resilient. You’re going to have to get good at failing forward and failing quickly. You’re going to have to get good at allowing the emotions you have to come up and solve for them. Because if you don’t solve for them, you’re going to be hammering the wrong place in the house, and it’s only going to make it worse.
You have to learn how to manage your mindset. You have to learn how to give yourself compassion. You have to learn how to see the value in rest, the value in trying new things. And you’re going to have to practice becoming a person who can do things that feel hard to them at scale in a bigger way. I talk about this with my clients all the time in terms of growing your capacity. The way you grow your capacity is by actually taking on things you’re scared about that feel too big for you.
I remember feeling this way with my first live event. It was in LA. I spent so much money. I was so nervous. I had a ton of debt in my business. One thing I really practiced in that season of my business was just holding space for all of it and not flipping out and giving myself all the grace I needed. I remember the event was located in LA, and my event started on a Monday. On Sunday, there was the biggest storm LA had ever seen or something like that. I think some of my clients’ flights were delayed. I was so nervous and scared. I had spent so much money and I also had business debt that I had accumulated very quickly. My business cash flow was low.
I wanted to just cry and be like, “What the fuck?” And I did cry. I cried a lot, but I cried so productively. I was so quick to give myself the compassion I needed. I was so quick to practice awareness. I was so quick to really understand why I was feeling this way. Then, because I did those things, I gave myself room to talk to myself nicely, to say the things I needed to hear, to tell myself, “You’re okay. You’ve never done this before. This is what scaling a business looks like. I’m so proud of you for taking on these big projects. Look at you. You’re finally doing it.” That’s the way I needed to talk to myself at that time.
This is what I mean by giving yourself grace and really tackling any type of entitlement. Because when you are getting frustrated that you’re marketing and marketing and marketing and it’s not working, it’s okay for you to feel that way. But if you’re serious about your business, learn how to handle it. By handle it, I mean give yourself the grace you need. Have the awareness of what’s going on in your mind. Learn how to process emotions. Then go back to the drawing board and create a plan of how you’re going to solve for this.
You have to be able to do that. Or else you’ll just be jumping from one business problem to the next business problem to the next business problem in full burnout. You’re going to be irritated, you’re going to be pissed, you’re going to be sad, you’re going to be tired. You’re going to be trying to hold space for clients when the reality is you need a break and you need to be nice to yourself.
This is what we do inside Show Up and Lead Mastermind. I only want to get better and better and better at this with my clients. Now, I’m going to give you a six-step solution for what you need to do when you are feeling very frustrated in your business. When you’re feeling like nothing’s working, when you’re feeling the entitlement grow. When you’re like, “It shouldn’t be this hard. Why is it this hard?” I remember I had a launch earlier this year where I felt that exact way. I was like, “I work so hard.” And I just cried. I wasn’t entitled. I was just disappointed. I was so disappointed.
But here’s the thing: my thought process in my business isn’t always strategy, strategy, strategy. It’s like, I need to become the person who can implement the strategy. And to become that person, I have to learn how to become nicer to myself. And then I become quicker at that and better at that.
So, here are the six steps. When you are feeling frustrated in your business, when you feel like you are facing a decision where you want this to grow, you want this to work out, but you don’t know what to do with it, or you’re frustrated that you’re marketing over and over and over, and you’re not getting the results you want, and you need to do something about it, here’s a tip.
Number one, you have to pinpoint the pain. I want you to identify the real source of frustration. This means brain dump everything that’s bothering you and look out for black-and-white thinking patterns. This is where you really have to practice self-awareness. When I say brain dump everything that’s bothering you, I mean it. Get a pencil and paper and write everything down that your brain is saying. Don’t try to make—don’t slow it down. I want you to write it exactly how it’s coming out of your brain, and I don’t want you to put your pencil or pen down until you are done writing.
I also have my clients do this exercise that I call the “Good, Bad, and Ugly,” where you’re not just writing the good thoughts, you’re not just writing the bad thoughts, you’re writing the ugly thoughts. Because if you get good at brain dumping, if you get good at practicing awareness and you know what your brain is telling you, you will find that sometimes you have some very ugly thoughts that are keeping you from growing your business. And you want to bring those up. You want to lift those up and see them because you want to know where your work is.
Step number one, pinpoint the pain. Step number two, make room to feel. There’s a little tool I use with my clients called “N to the third power.” N to the third power method. This is actually named by my clients. But I told her this once and she loved it, and she uses it with her clients. But number two is, you have to make room to actually feel the emotion. And I do that using N to the third power, which is:
Number one, you name the emotion. You actually name it. Don’t give it a sentence, give it a name. If you need a Google emotions wheel, it’ll give you a lot of options, but that’s step number one. You want to name the emotion. First, notice it. The first one is you want to notice the emotion. Notice the emotion. Then you want to name it. So first, you notice it, you feel a sensation in your body. You have a feeling, right? Acknowledge the emotion you’re feeling. Observe those emotions without judgment. Just let yourself feel. So first, notice it. Then, I want you to name it: I feel frustrated. I feel irritated. I feel pissed. I feel disappointed. I feel angry, right? Name it.
Then, I want you to normalize it. By normalize, I really want you to ask yourself, “Okay, I’m feeling this way. Why is it normal that I feel like this?” Well, it’s normal that I feel like this because I just put on a whole launch with 70-plus pieces of content and I still didn’t get the result I wanted. Or, “I have been marketing. I put on a webinar, and I wanted to create this many clients from it, and I didn’t create them.” Just name why you’re pissed. And then normalize it. “Yeah, okay, that makes sense. It’s understandable that you feel X if XYZ happened.”
Once you do that, then you’re going to get into gratitude grounding. This is where you shift your mindset by listing what’s going right. What is going right? What are you proud of? What are you grateful for? You can do this in your business and you can also do this in your life. But this is where you shift out of the entitlement. You shift out of the thoughts that are just getting you down.
I think one reason I don’t feel a lot of entitlement in my business—I mean I do sometimes—but I don’t feel a lot of entitlement in my business, and I really, really think it’s because I grew up in a home where I was raised Christian, and we talked about Jesus and God all the time. I remember my mom, in her lowest moments—I was raised by a single mom—and in her lowest moments, she would be thanking God when she was really stressed about money. Mostly it was money. When she was stressed about that, I remember her thanking God. She’d be like, “Thank you, Jesus, for this and this and that. Thank you for the money we’re going to find.” She really manifested a lot. She would talk to God out loud, and I’ve taken so much of that. I’m a very naturally grateful person because of that. I think that’s why step number three feels so normal to me. My norm is kind of grateful.
Doing this is going to help you bring more balance, more clarity. It’s going to help you calm down. Then step four is, from that place, I want you to create a pivot plan. So, what that looks like is: from a calm, regulated place, that is where I want you to audit what happened in your business. What actions did you take? Audit the thing that you’re pissed at from a non-judgmental place if you can, and decide your next steps. What will you adjust?
What are you going to do? Your bank account’s low. What are you going to do about it? Let’s look at it. What are you going to do? But really, I just want you to look at it, decide, see what happened. This is where you’re actually looking at what you’ve done and that’s it. Number five is where you look at a progress check. This is where you identify the areas of improvement, the areas you are seeing. There might be a problem here. You want to do this without shame, without judgment. I know that’s hard, but you’ve got to learn how to do this because you won’t grow your business if you cannot look and actually dissect what worked and what didn’t.
So actually, looking at the areas that need attention—instead, what I hear a lot of from people who are frustrated with their business and really feeling entitled—they wouldn’t tell you they’re feeling entitled, but this is what entitled sounds like: “I am doing this, but I’m not. I already did that. I’ve already tried that. I’ve already, I’m already doing this.” It’s like, “No, no, no, no, no. Take a step back. We’re not—if you want to go forward without looking at what went wrong, then you could repeat the same mistake over and over and over. Let’s just take the long road by really learning how to identify the pain, make room to feel, get grounded, create a pivot plan, and look at what you could progress on.”
So, number five is to identify a progress check, which is where you identify the areas of improvement without judgment. This is focused on refining and not perfection. And then the last one is your failure reframe. This is where you remind yourself that even big businesses fail and have failures and pivot all the time. It’s a part of the process. It’s not a sign of defeat. It’s very normal. If you are building a business, this is not an attack on you. This is not the world being unfair to you. It is a part of the game, and it is okay.
But if you want it, keep going. You’ve got to get to a place where you can calm down, give yourself compassion, give yourself grace, and then create another plan. Inside Show Up and Lead Mastermind, you’re going to have a coach and community through this that will call you out on this. I will tell you. I will tell you if I’m seeing entitlement. I’ll tell you with love, but I’ll be very real. Because what I want for you is for you to grow your business. I don’t want you to grow your business just by working harder and harder and harder. I want you to do it from a place where you get so good at this. You get so good at these steps that you can just bounce back fast because you’re not taking it personally. You can just make decisions in your business quickly.
That is the type of resiliency I want for you. I don’t want you to be ruminating on how unfair it is and how it should be working and how you’ve tried everything. Have you really? Have you really tried everything? Don’t let entitlement be the thing that slows down your business. Learn how to call out your own entitlement. Learn to tell yourself that this is business, and you will fail, and it will feel hard, and there’s no perfect way to do business. You’re going to have to figure it out. And if you have support, if you have a general contractor, if you have a mentor, someone who’s done it before, it could be easier. But regardless, you do have to work on building that muscle.
Alright, y’all. I hope this episode was helpful for you. Show Up and Lead Mastermind is opening applications next week. We have a webinar that’s happening on Monday, the 23rd. I’m calling it “Three Steps to Scaling Any Coaching Offer at Any Price.” I’m going to be going through the three areas of your business and skills that you have to invest time and energy into to grow your business, scale your offers, and scale your results and your client results. It’s going to be so good. I’m so excited about this webinar specifically.
The doors are going to open to Show Up and Lead Mastermind that day. There is a very juicy bonus for folks who book a sales call early and join. If you join Show Up and Lead Mastermind within 48 hours—by Thursday, the 26th, at midnight—if you book your sales call and you end up joining, you will receive three months of Voxer coaching and a VIP day. I’m really turning Show Up and Lead Mastermind into my dream program for elite, badass women of color who want to grow their businesses, who want to do it in a way that isn’t all about working harder, harder, harder. I want you to be able to build a life that you love next to your business and really learn how to do it sustainably.
Thank you. If you aren’t on the list yet, make sure you get on the list. I hope this was helpful. I send you a big hug. I will talk to you soon! Bye!
View comments
+ Leave a comment